Week 5 Review: Turn This Place into a Parking Lot

Tennessee Titans 30 (2-3)

Miami Dolphins 17 (1-4)

randyquaidxout
Indeed, bring out the pooper scooper.

 

This weekend’s slate of college games was fantastic for those of you that enjoy all forms of football. If you don’t, you should probably start because the 2016 Dolphins season just came out of the oven and it is charred to a crisp. Well done and too burnt for my liking. The only thing left to do for the year is to play out the string.

The issues we were concerned about with the front seven are even worse than originally imagined. The problems in the secondary, they are very real. The offensive line is back to its old ways after a couple of injuries forced our favorite dreadlocked duo onto the field and the quarterback, well, he’s more broken than Charlie and Sweet Dee’s game pieces at the end of an epic duel of ‘Chardee Macdennis.’

chardeemac
The Dolphins were handled better than Charlie and Dee.

 

I will be writing a long-form piece on Ryan Tannehill later this week, so don’t you worry, but I’m not going to discuss his game much more in this game review. He was dreadful. Still late on anticipation and reads, David Carr pocket syndrome has fully set in and his confidence is at an all-time low. He’s the 29th ranked passer in football but, just like the other 52 guys on the roster, he is going to play at the string as this team’s quarterback. Look back at his rookie year against Seattle. I was a fan of his ability to manipulate the pocket in college and slide around to make plays.

He did it at A&M and he did it early on. Taking over 200 sacks in the stretch of 69 games has to have taken its toll. And judging by his play, it has.

Chris Foerster is the offensive line coach of the Miami Dolphins, but we’d be better served with Forest Whittaker calling the shots – or maybe his son. He’s one of the stars of the HBO series Ballers. That probably makes him just as qualified.

Our good friend at thephins.com under the handle ‘KeyPhin’ posted this stat yesterday. “The average QB releases the ball at 2.73 seconds (Roethlisberger at #15 overall). Tannehill got hit 12 times today within the first 2.3 seconds. Brady at #1 releases in 2.49, which means he takes all 12 hits/sacks as well. The math is pretty darn simple here. There’s not a chance in hell for any QB to succeed under those circumstances.”

Laremy Tunsil slipped getting out of the shower and Branden Albert wasn’t healthy enough to play. Enter Dallas Thomas and Billy Turner. Each of these guys are athletic enough to play at this level, but their technique and preparedness is horrendous. This line acts like it has never seen a stunt or delayed blitz in its life.

How many times do we have to see Ja’Wuan James get out of his stance, hit no one and then turn around to see his guy go untouched to the quarterback? Turner’s strength at North Dakota state was a great kick slide and strong punch, but he was beat around the edge all day.

Defensively, this team is need of a complete tear down. Ndamukong Suh is a terrific player, but teams can neutralize him just like the Titans did. A double team on Suh, target Jordan Phillips (whose conditioning still isn’t up to standard) and test the edges where Andre Branch and Jason Jones fail to make plays ran at them single blocked.

Byron Maxwell gave it the old Roger Dorn “Olay” on Marcus Mariota’s touchdown run and his coverage was much like it has been all year – awful. Tony Lippett looked good in spurts like he did in the Bengals game, I think there’s something there if he continues to develop. I really like Bobby McCain’s game and he needs to get more looks on the perimeter in place of Maxwell (who can just be cut already for all I care.)

Titans Dolphins Football
“Set the edge? Pfft, that’s for losers.” – Byron Maxwell

 

The linebackers were just as bad as they’ve been all year, no surprises there. Even Reshad Jones found himself out of position a couple of times in coverage.

This was a comprehensive beat down. The rest of the year is tuned to figuring out what the young players look like, continuing to evaluate the quarterback (although he might be behind a patchwork line for the rest of the year) and seeing how Adam Gase deals with adversity all season.

It’s not yet Halloween and the season is over. Keep your eye on Texas A&M, Michigan, Clemson, Notre Dame and Florida State the rest of the way. I have to imagine our top five pick will be either Myles Garrett (DE), Jabrill Peppers (S), Deshaun Watson (QB), Deshone Kizer (QB) or Dalvin Cook (RB.)

Fins down.

You can follow me on twitter as I tweet the games live @Travis_Writes

Or you can contact me via email at traviswingfield@yahoo.com

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