Chapter One: Rock Bottom – “I don’t see a way that Ryan Tannehill makes it back for Miami. I just don’t. He looks totally punch-drunk. Fatefully, I think it’s over.” These were the words of highly regarded Dolphins fan, insider and contributor Simon Clancy (@SiClancy) on October 9. The Miami players, losers of four of […]

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The Ultimate Dolfans Guide to Dethroning the Patriots – Step 1: All About The Benjamins By Lazaro Montecruz The Miami Dolphins have a monumental task ahead of them in 2017. Their goal, more so than that of any other team in the National Football League, is to take on and defeat the juggernauts that are […]

As the Patriots prepare the streets of Boston for a fifth Super Bowl parade, the three step-children of the AFC East continue to wonder – when will it end? Two decades of chasing a divisional silver medal should be nearing its triumphed conclusion. Instead, the 39 year old quarterback and curmudgeon coach that consistently turns […]

The 2016 Dolphins were many things. Between the heart-thumping finishes, exceeded expectations, and setting a new organizational precedence, if nothing else, this team was a sheer pleasure to watch. With an impressive resolve, the Dolphins overcame a multitude of adverse situations to win double digit games and secure a post-season berth for the first time […]

  The Dolphins trailed the Patriots by two touchdowns late in the third quarter in a late October Thursday night affair in Foxboro. The Miami defense forced an incomplete pass on third down and got off the field. Cameron Wake, did not. As he lie there on his stomach at mid-field, you wouldn’t know he […]

When Sam asked me to head up the blog portion of Perfectville, he didn’t do it with the expectation that I would give you generic takes that could be covered by anyone with access to a highlight reel. Regardless, I still find it necessary to get the obvious out of the way. The primary keys […]

Back in August, I wrote positional previews for the entire 2016 Miami Dolphins roster. Before even seeing him dress in aqua and orange, this was what I had to say about MarQueis Gray in the “Quarterbacks and Tight Ends Preview.” “Gray spent the end of last season on Buffalo’s injured reserved and signed with the […]

Most Englishmen that go into sport choose football. But it wasn’t until he came across the pond that Jay Ajayi found himself immersed in America’s rendition of the game. Before stealing national headlines by joining the company of O.J. Simpson, Earl Campbell and Ricky Williams as the only players to rush for 200 yards in […]

You hear it all the time. “Why do you care so much? It’s just dudes playing a GAME!” Maybe to some, football is “just a game” but to the guys and gals that watch this beautiful sport, it’s far more than just a game. It’s a spectacle! It’s waking up early on Sundays to get […]

A player’s job in the NFL is unlike most professions in many ways. Voting for captains (superiors) is one of those unique traits. Today, the Dolphins elected five captains for the 2016 season. Offense: Ryan Tannehill – The quarterback had better be one of the captains of the team. Ryan Tannehill and his grey, dull […]

The number one thing to take away from the pre-season is that you shouldn’t take anything away from the pre-season. These glorified scrimmages can prove who is worthy of the bubble spots on the roster and who is capable of flashing ability in one-on-one situations. The pre-season has had its bright spots sprinkled in over […]

Adam Gase provided a depth chart that not even Dallas Thomas’ mom thought to be true throughout the entire pre-season. Listing the embattled offensive lineman as the first team left guard was very “Belichickian” of the rookie head coach. With the Seahawks only six days away, and the team beginning early preparations, an accurate depth […]

In an attempt to bolster the wide receiving corps that is lacking size, and at the same time, ridding themselves of players whose name sound like bad porno names, The Miami Dolphins have signed former Tennessee Titan, Justin Hunter (6’4″, 200 lbs) and released Griff Whalen (Cable Guy/Pizza Delivery Boy in adult movies). The move […]

The following players were cut today to get the roster to 53. Imagine if you are a football player and aren’t good enough to make a team like the Miami Dolphins…ouch: Players in bold, commentary in (parenthesis) CUTS: OL Sam Young (Great first name, bad player) CB Chimdi Chekwa (ChekWHY was this a surprise to […]

When you hear the letters “ACL” you often think of a player falling down with no contact and joining the injured reserve for the rest of the season. The anterior crucial ligament or ACL tear is one of the most career threatening injuries due to its long recovery time and high risk of re-injury. Today […]

Our paper bag mascot has become quite popular with our readers and listeners. And the time is right for us to name our paper friend proper. And since we can’t decide on a name ourselves, and in a desperate attempt to be more interactive with the audience, we have decided to make this an official […]

I have been extremely dismissive of this final pre-season game tonight. Before we get into this piece, let’s touch on three things I want to look for: 1.) Xavien Howard – He’s been anointed the defacto starter week one in Seattle and I find the message to be a bit mixed. Here you’ve made Laremy […]

Falcons 6 Dolphins 17 Although not outstanding by any measure, that performance gave me a much better feeling heading into the season. The best news of all, assuming Ndamukong Suh’s ankle injury is as minor as we’re told, the Dolphins get out of this game without any serious injuries and appear poised (knock on wood) […]

Atlanta Falcons (2-0) @ Miami Dolphins (1-1) Thursday August 25 8:00 EST – Hard Rock Stadium – NBC National Broadcast   The third pre-season game is always the “dress rehearsal” for the regular season. Just as the Dolphins are preparing for their contest possible adding some minimal scheming, I’m going to transition more into a […]

I was immediately worried when Mike Pouncey left the Dolphin’s preseason game due to injury against the Dallas Cowboys last Friday night. While he was able to return to play later in the quarter there now reports that he will miss the rest of preseason and possibly the season opener due to an undisclosed hip […]

Dolphins 14 (1-1) Cowboys 41 (1-1) That was difficult to stomach. That queasy, unwelcomed feeling of watching this team fall helplessly off the rails reared its ugly head once more as Miami were completely undone by the Cowboys. There are inevitable mistakes that will occur in the pre-season. Missed assignments, blown coverages, penalties, substitution issues […]

Miami Dolphins (1-0) @ Dallas Cowboys (0-1) Friday August 19, 8:00 EST Cowboys Stadium   Now that you’ve removed your finger from the panic button and prepare for another installment of Dolphins football, let’s get you ready for the game. The Cowboys came out on fire against the Rams in their opener taking the opening […]

Dolphins 27 (1-0) Giants 10 (0-1) I created a system to grade players via film study using statistics that I’ve either invented myself, borrowed from other football enthusiasts, or some combination of the two. I watched the game against the Giants just like most of you probably did -with a beer in my hand while […]

On the last episode of the pod, Sam mentioned this being the hottest Dolphins blog on the internet. He quickly provided a disclaimer that the content didn’t reflect my personal appearance. To disprove his utter non-sense, I had some professional glamour shots done – enjoy.   Now that games are on the horizon this blog will take […]

The biggest area of change from last year is the defensive backfield. The top two corners will be new starters, as will the free safety, and a lot of the depth has been replaced. It’s a bit ironic that, arguably, the team’s worst unit features its best player. Reshad Jones is the one sure fire […]

Fire up the week 17 tape of the victory over the Patriots and you’ll notice a common theme with the Miami defense. You’ll see linebackers flying to the ball, filing gaps and playing, far and away, their best games of the season. Neville Hewitt was everywhere stopping the run and even shielding Rob Gronkowski on […]

When the Dolphins signed video game legend, Donkey Kong Suh, I made the impulsive claim that Miami sported one of the best defensive lines in the history of the game. Suh will go down as a top five interior lineman when it’s all over, Cam Wake had been a top five pass rusher for a […]

The unfortunate circumstance of Ryan Tannehill’s imminent rise to league-wide respectability is that all the credit will go directly to Adam Gase. That’s one of the prevailing premises of the National Football League though – these professionals can’t allow ego to interrupt their overcoming of obstacles. I’m a frequent listener of various football podcasts and […]

This is the group that determines the fate of the 2016 Dolphins more so than any other. The strides made from the revamped coaching staff will be apparent from day one, but the new and improved line may take some time to gel and find cohesion. Playing in synchrony is one thing, but we’re also […]

Patrons of football gambling are responsible for at least a portion of the chandeliers in Las Vegas. Picking games against the spread is a difficult way to make a living. The outcomes are unpredictable and, more often than not, the house wins. Why is this? Every year, players prove to be something different than what […]

In part one of this series, I chronicled the players that distribute the football and the tight ends. Part two examines the players that finish the plays – the backs and wide outs. I recently read a complaint on a ‘Phins message board about the lack of star power this team has had basically since […]

Football is the ultimate team game. Stats only tell a partial truth that must be backed up with what the eye in the sky says because different assignments and play responsibilities can have a “trickle-down effect” on a player’s teammates. Sure, losing Cam Wake mid-season hamstrung (Achilles-strung?) the pass rush. But the primary culprit in […]

The All Paper Bag Team   I grew up a prototypical 90’s kid. Nicktoons ran on loop, I played Nintendo 64 at a Reshad Jones level and when I got home from school, I took to the backyard to play whatever sport was in season. At 7:10 pacific standard time every night I watched Ken […]

When Sam and Chris first introduced me to “Perfectville,” I was hooked. I desperately wanted to attach my name to it. So when Sam reached out to offer me the Head Writer position, I responded emphatically with “THAT’S ANOTHER MIAMI DOLPHINS, FIRST DOWN! (my way of accepting.) I grew up watching Dan Marino but I […]